Every Saturday, I eat dim sum with the same group of people. They are my parents’ friends’ kids, whom I call “my closest strangers.” The kids sit at a separate table from our parents. As a sharp contrast to the parents’ table, loud and filled with conversation and laughter, the kids’ table is quiet, with eyes fixated on our screens as we each scroll through social media. Nowadays, this is how Gen Z hangouts look: they are physically present, but they are not emotionally attuned with each other. While social media makes it easier to stay connected with people, it can simultaneously prevent us from forming genuine connections.
On social media, we can quickly scroll and learn about someone’s life at a glance, including what they wear, what they eat and where they go. Almost reflexively, I would press the like button, sometimes adding an emoji, other times leaving a short comment. The interaction takes minimal time and effort and zero vulnerability. Have I built a real connection? I’m afraid not, remaining surface-level and lacking meaningful interaction. This kind of relationship reminds me of instant noodles — quick and convenient, but devoid of real substance.
Social media is ruining modern friendships as social media pushes friendships into the eyes of the public. Oftentimes, what matters the most is how many followers and likes we receive. If we like someone’s post, it is fair to expect the person to also like our post in return. A real friendship requires real conversations, but friendship has become a form of social currency rather than genuine bonding, leading many to feel lonely in social settings. Sometimes, conversations can be awkward or uncomfortable, but it’s this kind of disagreement that helps deepen the relationship. Real relationships can’t be all roses and champagne like polished social media posts; there are ups and downs, and being there is what matters. Social media has made us forget how to make meaningful relationships. Instead, many people choose the easy and predictable routes by interacting solely online.
Social media is not all bad. It helps us connect with people we might have lost contact with otherwise, allowing us to stay up-to-date without needing to have the person fill us in each time. However, I think social media connections should be used with caution. It can strengthen a relationship if used correctly, but it can never replace a real conversation or interaction. We need to invest the time and make ourselves vulnerable to build anything meaningful. Sometimes, undivided attention, showing up for each other and even disagreements are what we need to feel closer to each other. Next time I sit down for dim sum, I am going to put away my phone and politely suggest that everyone do the same. Without it, we may continue to sit at the same table week after week but remain perfect strangers.
