Across the miles: Students with military parents navigate school and extracurriculars while their loved ones serve

Reminiscing a day from his middle school Orchestra class in 2023, sophomore Hunter Reed recalls sitting in the back of the classroom, clutching his cello closely as he immersed himself into playing the melody of the patriotic song “My Country Tis of Thee.” Although fixated on rehearsing his sheet music, a familiar, uniformed figure made his way to the front of the room. There stood Reed’s father, Army Capt. Rodney Reed, grinning from ear to ear as he returned after a six month deployment from Jordan and Syria.

As the room filled with excited cheers and applause, Reed drowned out all of the noise and abandoned his instrument to embrace his father. With a bittersweet and long awaited reunion, the only thing that mattered to Reed in that moment was that his dad had finally come home. 

The memory of his father’s surprise stays with Reed and his younger twin siblings, Raiden and Kailani, as reconciling is a moment they look forward to the most from their father’s deployment Aside from his father, Reed shares a long lineage of family involvement in the military which has inspired him in his everyday life. Because of his father, Reed sees the military as a tangible career for himself, and he has hopes of one day following in his family footsteps and enlisting. To Reed, becoming another family member to join would not just be a personal goal, but would preserve a generational legacy in the service.

“The thing that most interests me about the military is the fighting spirit and fighting for what you care about. My favorite part is learning and seeing the different ways that the military can improve you as a human, the physical aspect, also leadership skills,” Reed said. “I have several other family members that have done it, the closest one is my father, but my uncles and cousins also serve. I do plan to [join the military] after going to college, because it seems like a good option.”

Because his father is currently home for reintegration, Reed looks forward to spending quality time with him and doing their favorite bonding activities such as playing the Call of Duty video game, working on cars or even building LEGO sets. No matter their choice of hobby, Reed cherishes the time he spends with his dad. Being a child of a military parent and having his father not always present isn’t easy, but has taught Reed the importance of independence, his family and looking out for one another. 

“When he comes home, we usually play a lot of board games or [do]  physical [activities] like weightbuilding and running together pushes and motivates me,” Reed said. “I think [having a military parent] has been able to give me that independent aspect, because when my dad leaves, I kind of become the man of the house. I have to make sure my little siblings behave.”

In their father’s absence, it hasn’t always been easy to manage because Reed and his siblings all take part in various extracurricular activities such as athletics and Boy Scouts. In his two sports, football and track and field, Reed sometimes felt he could really use a pep talk or just having his father’s presence supporting him. In these moments, his dad’s deployment hit especially hard, but just remembering that no matter the distance, he is always cheering him on and remembering the advice he has given him in the past has allowed Reed to find confidence in his mentality. 

“[I really missed] my dad when I noticed he was not there to help me or guide me though sports, or he is not able to watch me perform and give me advice on mistakes. Lessons that I’ve learned from my father have been helpful for my role in the Boy Scouts too. In football, he once told me to slow it down when I was missing my tackles. The advice that he gave me made me feel happy and made all the bad thoughts go away. I felt I was able to take down people that were way bigger than me,” Reed said. 

One of Reed’s friends and track and field teammates, sophomore Jake Thompson, has personally seen their strong father-son relationship and also had the opportunity to experience some of the perks the military has to offer.

“[Reed’s] mindset is very much like most hardworking athletes, he tries hard to put what the coaches say into his execution. He is a very supportive teammate and a nice person who cares about connection with his friends,” Thompson said. “[Reed’s] dad being in the military is cool and him and his dad’s [relationship is] close. One time I was invited to come with them to the military base and hang out on the private beach, it was super fun.”

His father has been stationed across the globe such as Iraq, Kuwait, Jordan, Korea and Japan. Despite being thousands of miles apart, their father-son relationship is never severed, but instead strengthened by their mutual interest.

“[My dad] was telling me about how it was amazing to drive through the cities, to convoy and see people transporting weapons and all that, aspects like the different types of tools that they use and vehicles like the Humvees. There’s a story he was telling me about, he was shooting and his gun jammed, he was hitting it and it broke his wrist, so he reminds me to be careful,” Reed said. “A lot of times when we’re working on cars or different projects together, he’ll bang on something and do the same wrist motion. I would be like, ‘Dad, you might break your wrist again!’ That’s something I definitely remember.”

A facet of the military Reed has learned to value over the years is learning about the different experiences that are unique to each person. With his dad home, Reed enjoys listening to his dad’s personal anecdotes and life lessons. As a passion first sparked by his dad, Reed wants to further his knowledge about all military aspects and has found the value of passing down stories across generations.

“Storytelling is unique to me. A lot of times, military families [will] talk about their stories. I kind of understand it and that aspect to have them telling those stories, it’s cool because you learn about different stuff that they do. Over the years, it’s convinced me to want to do it too,” Reed said. “[The impact he’s] left on my life is the way he’s raised me to be and the way he cares for me, I thank him for that.”