The love-defying stories of rom-coms transcend time and are widely considered the perfect representatives of love, relationships and unrealistically high standards. However, people should base their romantic expectations on real-life experiences and emotional bonds rather than rom-coms.
Rom-coms have long been topics of discussion and intrigue, adorning screens with beautiful love confessions and acts of service that extend past our perceptions of love. Yet, it is important to keep in mind that rom-coms are specifically tailored to offer a sense of escapism from real life, offering an idealistic rather than a practical approach to relationships.
When I open TikTok, I often encounter relatable videos with the headings, “To be loved like in rom-coms” or “I’ve watched too many rom-coms to the point that my standards are so high,” as the creator gazes longingly into the distance or shakes their head in blatant disapproval. While I do believe that rom-coms can offer a form of escape from the present society and explore love through various tropes, relying solely on these portrayals is unrealistic and can limit the formation of authentic bonds.
Experiencing love in real life, on the other hand, offers tangible forms of love that are realistic, such as sacrificing time for one’s partner or spending quality time on the small things, which contrast heavily with the often impulsive gestures of love in rom-coms. By putting in regular effort and time in relationships, individuals can also transform seemingly small actions into long-term mutual respect and trust that are fundamental in emotional connections. Some students believe that authentic connections with people can help individuals understand relationships because they can build communication, trust and adaptability. Junior Angie Loyo Gonzalez expresses how she learned the significance of a slow approach to life and gratitude for her loved ones through her first relationship, which lasted for two years. Therefore, not only can personal exposure to love broaden individuals’ perspectives on relationships in all aspects of life, but it also teaches important lessons that may seem impersonal and out of reach in rom-coms. You won’t experience a fairytale love story, but you will learn about the importance of commitment and understanding in a relationship.
In fact, “To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before” (2018), a teen rom-com that has captured the hearts of many, represents the cliché “fake dating” trope through the popular Peter Kavinsky and the shy Lara Jean Covey. Viewers are left to believe that their very own Kavinsky will notice them one day and strike up a fake relationship deal that will evolve into a permanent romance. Reality check! It probably won’t happen like the picture-perfect plot of the movie since everyone is so busy with their own lives. Instead of waiting for the perfect partner and circumstances, people should utilize opportunities to connect with others and keep in mind that nobody is perfect. Who knows? Even if you don’t find a compatible partner through these efforts, you can potentially meet new friends while increasing your confidence and mindset in the process.
While rom-coms offer a form of fantasy that is comforting in its portrayal of love and relationships, they often establish romantic ideals that conflict with real-life events and interactions. Therefore, people should not rely on rom-coms as the blueprint of love, but rather on personal experiences and bonds.
